Two Days Later

About my decision to quit pet painting as a business (see prior blog post):


If it sounds like I am blaming my clients, I am not.  Not at all.  Any artist who has taken commissions will tell you the same things I have said.  It is a fine balancing act between answering to your call as an artist and meeting the expectations of a client.  It's the nature of the business.  If anything, what I am doing, is admitting this: I am not suited to be a commission painter as a full-time endeavor. I don't like the business aspect of it.  I don't want to spend my time contacting people with frequent updates (and I haven't.) I can't afford full time help.  Clients don't want to wait so long for their painting and they shouldn't have to.  I maintain stress over not painting more quickly. It's even more stressful knowing I have people waiting for a painting, and I can't get there yet.  I don't mass-produce and I don't have a formula, so paintings, when I'm working, usually take a while to do.  Again, not the client's fault, it's part of the business.   I do enjoy meeting clients and pets, taking photos, arranging the sketches and doing the art.  A lot of artists hate commission work and won't do it at all.  I actually like it, but I never expected the stress level to be so high. 


Some paintings weren't quite what I would have chosen, but I am proud of the accomplishments of each piece thus far.  Each client and their animals have been unique.  I get to meet some of the nicest people on earth - how could they not be?  They love their pets!  Nearly everyone has been excellent about letting me do what I do.  Even so, it's very stressful to try and meet someone else's expectations.  They have a certain image in their heads and I have to try and match that.  I struggle with what they want and what I think should be.  


This may not make sense to some, after reading the above and the prior post.  My artist friends will get it for sure:
Although I do not love the business, I love what I do.  I love painting; capturing an animal's personality or a moment in time.  I love the feel of paint on the canvas, the time it takes to mix a color and apply it next to another color.  I love when the painting begins to brighten and come to life in an explosion of color.  I love when I have an aha moment in the studio and silently, or sometimes aloud, yell " THAT's IT!"  I love getting the expressions on an animal that really speaks that animal's soul. I love the smile on a client's face when they see their pet and go "wow."  I cry when my clients' pets leave this earth, because I've connected with them through my paintings.  THAT is why I paint.  


One of my clients wrote back to me "It's hard to be creative when you feel internal or external chaos."  This is so true.  Another wrote, "...after what appeared, much heartfelt contemplation...it made me realize that you had rediscovered the artist I fell in love with so many years ago."  


I certainly hope so.  That is the message I am trying to send.